Whats wrong with my English??

Salam. Mangkuk! Jamban! Why is my English does not have any improvement at all?? The weakness that i found in myself is that I was lack in my vocab and have lots of problem especially in understanding the grammar - where there are certain words that I am not quite understand with their special function and laws. Why do this english stuff also need a law when writing a certain sentences? When I was studying physics in my school, its always been a law of this and that, especially Gas Law. What the heck??

As you can see, this 'law' things sometimes gave me a little, no i mean a big confusion especially when i was trying to understand with the concepts. Physics, there is lots of concept that you must understand - especially when you want to get A1 in your physics.

To be frank with you, i am too stupid and need a plenty of minutes to understand something - yes! Thats why my greds never pass the excellent achievement. Oh man! Thats really makes me really..really..REALLY LIKE AN IDIOT! WHY DO YOU SO STUPID, LIA????

When I writing an essay and passed it to my dear teacher, ms. Hatiah, there will be lots and lots of grammatical errors that I found. I think the red mark is everywhere - especially at the bottom of the essays where the teacher will gave lots of compliment in it.

The useful critique that always been written by my dear teacher is that ,"the use of the same word over and over again from the start till the end - repetition words". Not only that there will be include with the grammar problems - "you're too clumsy in writing your essay - even you're makes mistakes in a simple grammar." Oh my God, why the heck is wrong with me????

I really need an english teacher during this holiday. I really need to improved my english - need someone to help me fast!